a marriage by any other name...

shine and i are going to new york.  we are getting married, on paper.  it is strange to approach this decision.  we already have what we consider marriage between us.  we have merged everything in our lives.  we are family.  we are committed.  we live together.  we plan our lives together.  we consider the other person in all decision making.  we wear rings that mean symbolize our love and commitment to each other.  so now, a marriage in a formal sense.  shine proposed the idea to me and i must admit i was a little hesitant or scared at first.  not scared to share our lives, because that is what we already do.  scared to succumb to this idea that marriage is necessary.  that marriage somehow vindicates our promises, our trust, and our love for one another.  i thought about this for a while and it seemed like an unnecessary step in our relationship.

so why did i say yes?  i gave up my preconceptions of marriage.  now, marriage is a celebration of the person i want to spend my life with.  because marriage by any other name isn't as sweet.  because the love that we have together is worthy of being honored.  and i do not mean honored in the sense of registering as domestic partners, because that is not honor.  that is another version of separate, but equal.  i do not want to take on a name created to marginalize my relationship.  because words are important and i want the name that carries the significance and gravity appropriate for what we are.  so, marriage it is.  in all its legal glory.

i do not expect much to change in the end.  our love is enduring.  our relationship is healthy.  our future is bright.  marriage does not enable any of these things.  these things enable a marriage.  so come october, i will wed the one i love.  no longer my girlfriend, an ephemeral term.  because words are important.  and when people ask if i am married, there will be no confusion or hesitation in answering.  she will be my spouse.  we will share the same last name.  we are getting married, because we can.  because there shouldn't have ever been a question about whether that should be allowed in the first place.